LUAHAN HATI SEORANG PEREMPUAN..........

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

The Meaning of the Kiss







I took it for my friend's email...


1. Kiss on the hand = I adore you
2. Kiss on the cheek = I just want to be friends
3. Kiss on the neck = I want you
4. Kiss on the lips = I love you 
5. Kiss on the ears = I am just playing
6. Kiss anywhere else = lets not get carried away
7. Look in your eyes = kiss me
8. Playing with your hair = I can't live without you
9. Hand on your waist = I love you to much to let you go


I would say..some of these are true... believe it or not!!

Friday, September 14, 2007

Its hard being me....


My heart been hurt so much lately... really hurt. I dont know what had happened to my life lately. So many things happened at the same time.

For 2 weeks been going to work with my sis. She just got a job and at the moment, I'm assisting her to drive. She already got the license but never have a chance to drive. Everyday will drive her to the office and she will drive on the way back home. She did pretty well even been shouted at her all the times.

My family is planning to buy a car for her. The problem that she faces is she just got the job and no pay slip yet. To make a car loan at least needs 3 months pay slips. Well, the problem shift to me.. my dad wanted me to make a loan... using my name. Truly, I dont mind at all... even though the payment of car loan has not finish. Something bothering me in this matter. My big bro x never borrow money from bank even make any loan. What was frustrating me was, my parents never say a word towards my big bro. I would say, he is the best person to make loan as to represent my sis. Ohh no.. what had happened. I did joking ask him abt this and he seems refuse to use his name to make a loan. Yeah, his wife needs him... He wanted to use his name for his wife's loan later.. well..fine..really fine...

Settling the cars matter is not easy especially to a lady like me. Since I have my own car, most of the time I need to settle my own problems by myself. Thanks to my colleagues who are always willing to help me. From checking the oil brek to change the filter and etc. Still remember, when I'm with N, my car need to service and I really need him to help me unfortunately it turned out different ways. Been hurts so much on that nite just only need him to assist. From time to time, I learn something about servicing car even its hurt my feeling.

Well, now I need to settle my sis car plate number. We have been discussed about the number and we decided to take number that is same with my car's number. This evening, the salesman called and the car is ready and definitely I need to go to jpj to registered the number.

Guess what, I need to do that... my dad is not around and he was angry just now when I said I didnt know the procedure of taking the number and I need somebody to assist and accompany me. Well, the answered from my dad...i need to find anybody to do that.. I need to do that alone. It is not an easy task.. really..

Been quarrellings with my big bro too today... my life is so miserable lately.. I gently told him to keep the bathroom clean and he really mad at me..

God, please help me... i thought after terawih will get better but still God wanna test me..

Mr N wanna get engage


Alhamdulillah... yesterday Mr N told me in YM as promised, he is getting engage on the third day of Raya. I'm so happy for him.. really happy. At last he managed to find a lady that suit him. Congratulation N... Will always pray for you.. you happiness with your beloved lady..

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Today is My Birthday

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Today is my 27th birthday. Thank God, I'm still alive... been so grateful to still alive in this world. Ohh no, my age ... i'm getting older.

Last nite after 12 midnite and till 3 am, my phone non stop receiving sms from my friends and students. Was so touch with all the birthday wishes.

N was the first person to wish and called me to wish "Happy Birthday". He called me nearly 12 midnite and he wanted to be the first person to wish me. By the moment of 12 midnite, he sang a birthday song.. I cried with his sincerity and kindness to just make me happy. Been talking for a few minutes before I went to sleep.

Been waiting for my "soul mate" to call or sms. Unfortunetly he didnt send any sms or not even bother to call. Deep inside me feel so hurt but I still can remember what N told me. Just face whatever consequence that he gave.. at least u try. I take it positively... really..

Mt students were so sweet.. before I left home, they brought me a slice of secret recipe cake ( oreo flavour) and a bar of Cadbury Chocolate. It is so sweet of them... thank you to all my students for remembering my birthday.

Was thinking to just stay at home on my birthday nite but last last week, N was begging me to accept his invitation for the dinner. He wanted to threat me birthday dinner at Secret Recipe ( my favourite place). Well, I did accept and we had dinner together. He ate Tom Yam Kung and I ate Big Curry Puff... cant recall the exact name of that food. And also try his chocolate melt cake.. yummy. He insist me to take a slice of choc banana home, but I said no coz really full at that time. Thanks N for being such a wonderful person for me... Guess what, you never did such things like these earlier during our relationship... but at least I'm glad that u did these for me.. Zillion thanks to u N...

We went back home fr Secret Recipe quiet early. I was being so quiet and feel not talking. Same things goes to him.. he was being so quiet too.. and seems like thinking a lot. We were thinking about the pass memory together. Ohh no... sad and sad..

We did spend our moment in the car by chatting with so many things and again we cried. Cried and cried...

What I am still remember he said... " Even you didnt get me but at least you got the best of me and may be my girl got me but she will not get the best of me." I'm crying with his words... it was so deep words to keep...

Before I left him, I dedicate one song to him " Rossa- terlalu cinta" . We both cried when listening to that song in the car....

N.... I do and will pray for your happiness with your girl.. really I do..

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Its Because of Him...

Yesterday nite at nearly 12 midnite received call fr my ex-soulmate...or should I change to my soulmate. He called and was asking me to do a favor for him. He got an assignment that need to submit the next late afternoon. The title of his assignment was " The Value of Punctuality" and it should be in handwriting in A4 paper and 5 pages. Promise to him to meet up and give it to him the finish product at noon at Burger King, Sri Hartamas. Coincidently, I got meeting in the afternoon the next day at 2.30 and we promise to meet up at 12.30. And the best part is I can finish his assignment in the morning since my boss was not around to disturb me.

I was so excited to help him and immediately after he put down the phone, I got up fr my bed and went to surf internet to find the information for his assignment. Got some and yesterday morning once arrived at the office, I did that. Sms him to clarify whether in both side of paper or only one side of paper. Well, got that clarification...

While doing that nearly at 11.. so tiring of writing till can feel my born of my fingers cracking. Yeah, since when I did write and can you image it was a long and long writing..nearly 5 pages both side of paper, I got an sms from him. In his sms mentioned that he already submitted the assigment coz they need at 11 and he apologies and thanking me. OOOOOO... so shocked with the sms.. Yeah, I did write..almost done !! Well, what more I can say..

At that time, I felt so tired, sad and mad... even deep inside me so sincerely in helping him to finish his assignment.

Well, yesterday after office went to meet N. We had a good chat..talking and talking...laughing. N likes to make a flashback memory. We talking what had we gone thru and so many other sweet and sour memories together. We even almost crying and nearly to shed tear.

He gave me a bag of rambutan and it was so sweet of him.

When I'm nearly to sleep, N called coz he said he was missing me so much and wanted to call and have a small chat. We did and I personally think he was so sweet in sense of that...

5 minutes after I putting down my phone talking to N, got an sms from my soulmate with a msg "Miss u". ... been waiting for him to sms me and apologizes again what had happened tdy.. and I did reply with " missing u too".

He again replied " what are u doing? " I replied " I'm waiting for you"... and the message stopped there from about 8-10 minutes... Feel like missing him so much and I decided to call him.

I called him and we had a good chat too even his voice sounds he is still in not well. Sore throat..can hear that. Told him what had happened and he wanted me to admit that I really wanna meet him thats reason why I did his assignment. Yeah, I do.. but the my top reason in the list is I wanted to help him to finish his assignment beside wanted to see him.

Well, its totally fine. May be , it is not the time yet to see him. Well, advised him to take medicine and to wear his coat during the class.. Worried of him, dont want him to get sick... really...

Well... Last nite was a good nite to sleep. Woke up so early. Most probably because of the 2 called that I receibed last nite...

Monday, July 30, 2007

Warehouse Weekend....

























Last week was a good weekend. Starting from Saturday I went to Warehouse Sale!!...


Wah so many things need to buy and to look at. On Saturday went to LG, Samsung Warehouse Sale. My family bought a freezer.. nice freezer. It is half price. .. very cheap..

On Sunday, went to another Warehouse sale.. perfume. My goodness, pool of people queuing .. it was so hard to find a parking but and it worth waiting.

I bought several boxes of perfume and they were very , extremely cheap. I bought 3 sets of Davidoff for men, 2 sets of CK Women, 2 sets of 212 Caroline NY, 1 bottle of Davidoff Water Wave for Women, 1 set of Bvgari with small pouches, 1 Davidoff Echo Women and CK Euphoria Women. Crazy really crazy... All of these, I end up paying for nearly RM950. Reall y cheap isnt it?

At least I satisfied paying those items...



Thursday, July 26, 2007

Confession...

Went back from seminar early tdy. Dropping by my friend at Sogo and heading to meet N. It was a suprise msg from him. He wanted to see me after the office hours.

We had a good chat. Exchanging the story and at last after been push by N, I made confession about my ex-soulmate to him. Thanks to N for giving me sincere support towards my ex-soulmate.

Hey, guess what... Last nite at last I got msgs from my ex-soulmate. He did reply my msg after I sending him a gd nite msg. He told me that I just came out from Jungle trekking for 2 days and couldnt reply my msgs. Was so happy.. would say extremely happy agter receiving more than 5 msgs last nite. At least my prayer answered. Really grateful to God.

And tdy, I did sms him arising with the summons issues and he did reply my messages.

What more, I so excited just now receiving his called. He doesnt sound well... in terms of his voice. I got cough, flu and sore throat. Feel so worried of him. Told him that I'm willing to sent medicine to him. Seems he doesnt have time to go out ... not even have time to go out. Ohh no, he makes me worried and sad. Was thinking of him so much.. really!! Just praying and hoping he will get well soon.

Thats all for today...

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Crying ....

After jotting down in my blog last nite about N and feel so missing him...very much.

Before went to sleep been smsing N and after a while I decided to call him and have a good nite chat. At first was planning to only say hi and gd nite but our conversation been dragged by emotional situation.

He was so concerned about me and my life lately. Told him that I'm happy when he's happy. I know he is happy with his new girl even deep in my heart so sad and sorrow. But thats the faith that I need to accept.

All the sudden, our conversation paused and we both know that we were too emotional and so sad with what had happened. The conversation stop because of both of us in so emotional situation and couldnt even talk. We agreed to end up the conversation. Last nite was a sorrow nite....

Beside, I am still want to sms my ex-soulmate. I knew his busy with his course. He didnt reply my sms...not even one. I started smsing him on Monday morning with gd morning msg and and gd nite msg. Till this morning still now answer and I found out the messages were not deliver. Most probably he switch off his hp and doesnt want any disturbance. Well at least this afternoon, I know that the messages just sent to him with the delivery messages from Hotlink. Unfortunately no answers fr him.

Well, I do wanna give him a good morning and good nite messages every day without fail (I'm trying my best to do that). At least I show that I do care him and I do miss him. What I need now is only to be patient ... patient waiting of his reply.

I will be happy if he could reply with only a word of message. Well..I just need to wait and wait.. Hope he feel the same..

Today is also unproductive day... been walking, chatting and shopping around. Didnt do any work...

Tomorrow is going to be seminar day at Prince Hotel and Residence...

Time to sleep now....sleepy..sleepy cat... Gd Nite!!!!